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  • Writer's picture@whiskytip - Duncan

Close Encounters

Updated: May 9, 2023

In episode 2 of Honest to a Malt 'No Half Measures' we chatted about the levels of disbelief and dismay our partners experience as we obsess about drinking, buying and collecting whisky. If you haven't listened to it yet, give it a spin!

This is a living breathing blog of anonymous stories of how our crafty listeners have avoided getting caught (and subjected to the old raised eyebrow, or hands on hips) by their other half, as they bring 'yet more whisky' into the house.

This list may grow. It depends on how many we receive over time. Thanks to all who share one with us!

Anonymous (ah we'll call them John, from Glasgow)

A while ago I was aware I was buying too much whisky. I went for a beer and to watch England in the World Cup, I unexpectedly walked past a whisky shop where I found an Ardnamurchan Madeira.

Stumbling home I spent the journey trying to think of how to secrete the bottle on my person. I eventually settled for the sleeve of my coat which meant I couldn’t straighten my arm.

When I came home my Mrs welcomed me with an embrace, but I could only return the hug with one arm. When she picked up on it I couldn’t think of a sensible reason and just awkwardly disengaged and went to the bathroom to hide the bottle. She never found out about the bottle but was mad at me for a week because of the rubbish hug. 😂

Anonymous (we'll call this person, Stavros from Brighton)

Like most men (I presume) I purchase far to much whisky, and like most Women my good wife was in great humour about it until she realised if anything it’s ever increasing with deliveries and our home is more whisky than anything else. The solution? My dad lives a couple of miles away and I get them delivered there and collect them as and when and sneak them in the house . The problem with the rerouting? The Local Dpd driver Graham (a understating legend) one day remembered that because my dad was out he kindly thought he would turn up at my home and deliver the bottle there straight to my wife while I was at work, the conversation went “ruddy hell your husband buys a lot of whisky, does he sell it commercially?” And finally asked how come it goes to his Dads all the time now instead of your house…. Questions were asked upon my return from work. Shes hasn’t left me yet and we’re off to Islay next week so it’s all good. Love the pod and keep up the good work.

Anonymous (getting Paulos Di Canio from The Wee Toon vibes)

Like a lot of people, lockdown and covid led me to the whisky cabinet a lot and I found it becoming depleted. After two or three deliveries I could sense a frosty atmosphere and so a plan was hatched. Thanks to where I work I was classed as a keyworker and could still get out and about so I had my whisky orders delivered to the office. I could get quiet deliveries and leave the bottles either at the office or in the car as needed and then slip them into the house under the radar like an SAS operative. I got away with this for about 3 months until I ran out of cupboard space and this Andy Mcnab became Andy Cap. The game was up. Moral of the story, always have enough cupboard space at multiple places. Build a network!

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